Belonging

How many of us feel we can show up as our authentic selves at work?*

I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum - feeling completely aligned in some workplaces, which led to some of the best, most productive years of my career, and feeling more than a little misaligned in others, which really drained my energy. That sense of misalignment can slowly erode self-confidence and it’s tough.

Over time, I’ve learned to recognise the signs of not belonging: I find myself holding back, struggling to contribute, or adapting just to fit in. Some feel this misalignment at work, others in social settings, or even at home.

When I do feel like I belong, oh how I appreciate it. There's nothing quite like finding your ‘tribe'. Belonging is a deep human need after all - rooted in our evolutionary past -and tied to our mental health, job satisfaction, and happiness. When we feel aligned with our environment, everything clicks. When we don’t, it can erode confidence levels and if it goes on for a long time, it can even trigger more serious mental health issues, like anxiety or depression.

The key thing to remember is that misalignment doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It’s often a signal to find spaces where you truly belong - where your unique authentic self is not just accepted - but celebrated. That’s where the magic happens.  Psychological safety plays a big part here. It’s the feeling of being able to express ideas without fear and knowing that your strengths are valued.

So what affects our sense of belonging?

At work, a mismatch with company values is often one of the biggest factors that affect belonging. Studies consistently show that employees who feel they belong are more engaged and productive. But when company culture doesn’t align with your personal beliefs, it can feel like an uphill battle.

Authentic, lived values - not just the ones that are plastered on walls - are key. How many companies genuinely model their values day-to-day? In my experience some do it well, others less so. You might have seemed a perfect fit during recruitment, only to find (for example) a reality of daily micromanagement instead of empowerment. Or a change in leader with different values to you can really throw things off-key.

Diversity also plays a huge role in belonging. Being the only person with a specific communication style, a disability, or a different background or neurotype can affect how you feel included. This is one of the reasons why diverse workplaces are so important - not just for different perspectives but for fostering safety and belonging. 

True belonging is about embracing uniqueness, not just accepting it.

So if you’re feeling like you don’t belong, consider how your current surroundings align with your values and needs - and aim to seek out places where you can be unashamedly, 100%, brilliantly YOU.

*Important side note: If you are neurodiverse, or work with someone who is, remember that masking - adapting behaviour to fit in - can be a useful tool in environments where it doesn’t feel fully safe. While I emphasise authenticity in this article, it’s equally important to prioritise your well-being by masking when necessary. Collaborating with others who are neurodiverse, or who understand neurodiversity, can make a significant difference. Ultimately, finding spaces where you can be more yourself, at your own pace, is what truly matters.

If you need help figuring out what a YOU-shaped environment looks like and what you need to feel like you fit right in at work, please get in touch to discuss how I can help or book in a free 30 minute discovery call.